WWSD - Features

Welcome to Historic Haiku Heaven...

The Ballad of Sutekh T. Destroyer

When brother Horus
Trapped me in a pyramid,
Crap, I could not move.

I could use my mind,
To torture the poor roaches,
But not crush with feet.

Then, an explorer
Found me and became my slave.
Sent him home to kill.

I controlled him well,
And he followed my strong will.
I would soon be free!

Alas! Trouble came.
A Time Lord called "The Doctor"
Began to undo.

He bested my slave.
He discovered my grand scheme.
Blew up my rocket.

It would have freed me,
So I contained the bomb blast.
My missile must fire!

The Doctor was smart.
He came back to distract me,
Into my prison.

The rocket blew up.
For I could not concentrate.
Shit! Pesky Time Lord!

I was super-pissed.
So I made him my plaything.
Feel my wrath, lil' bitch!

He spoke through the pain.
Trying to change my mindset.
To make me see Good.

I scoffed at his talk.
Saw how to take his time-ship.
Do the missile's job.

So we went to Mars.
To break the Eye of Horus,
And grant me FREEDOM!

My mummy broke it.
Crushed the glass Eye in it's hands.
My bonds, weakening.

But he was not done.
That Doctor had one more plan.
He could control Time.

He built a tunnel.
To fling me to the future...
...too far to survive.

I did not give up.
I found a way to break free,
And exit his trap.

I ended up here,
Sharing knowledge on the Web,
Spouting truisms.

I wish poetry
Could explain my dilemma.
Man, does it suck here.

Limerick Largess...

Believers
Some people think they know God.
As if Lord will give them the nod.
They scamper around,
With their eyes to the ground,
But really, just check out my bod! (It's AWESOME! *flex*)

Ruminating the Vermin(ating)
OK, so what if I like rats?
It's not like I kill little brats...
Oh, wait, that's not true,
I eat kids like they're you.
And wait till I clean out the frats!

Abhor
Man, how I still hate that Time Lord!
I loathe him when even I'm bored.
He screwed me but good,
Like haiku that he would,
...Shoulda just severed his spinal cord.

Redemption
Many things are not as they seem.
You might even think that you know me.
Maybe I can be kind?
Inside, mercy you'll find?
Come again? I can't hear through your screams...

Get Across the Street, Bitch!
So you think that you'll just take your time?
Walk as slow as you can...on MY dime?
Get your ass 'cross the road,
You turtle-like toad!
Watching your head implode's almost sublime.

Whites vs. Blacks
The question is never that simple.
So please, un-concave your cute dimples.
To separate or not,
Is the question to spot.
This laundry is giving me pimples!

True Love
I do so enjoy that True Love.
The kind granted far from above.
I can feel it in my heart,
To rip that love apart.
It makes me feel giddy, sort of.

The Ultimate Limerick
Most people think it's quite thick,
To write a limerick about the limerick.
"It's too hard to rhyme!"
Say these folks all the time.
But the last syllable does the trick.

Farewell Sweet Reader
Lay your weary head to rest.
And dream sweet dreams that love suggests.
What Would Sutekh Do?
Why, he'd pluck the guts out of you.
I hear nightmares are often the best.