the WWHD Staff!
Hi everyone! Welcome to WW...um...HD! I'd like to say I am in charge around here, but now Heather is. At first, I thought, "Cool! This has to be better than Sutekh!" I was dreadfully, totally, incredibly wrong. Heather sucks ass. Yeah, just as I said that, I realized Heather will be making me wash toilets now. Dammit.
Hey gang. My name is Dave. I updated my picture to reflect what Sutekh did to me. I am soooo glad Heather put that bitch Osirian in his place. Kinda weird though, now Heather goes on and on about how much she loves coffee. Says she is thinking of switching back to the "leaded variety". Good thing I'm decaf. I'm not decaf? Oh.
I helped Heather steal the Eye of Horus and imprison Sutekh in his chair. What I didn't know was that Heather was going to go power-mad and take over the web site. I can write, I can proofread, and I know HTML. Yet Heather gets the top spot. What does sweet pussy have to do to get some respect around here? No, Joe! Don't touch me there!
No fucking way. I mean, come on! Here I am, imprisoned by the Eye of Horus again, and my jock-itch has already returned. I do NOT believe this! It's like the old saying goes: fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I am back in this sonofabitching chair!!!!! There aren't words for what I'm going to do to you when I get free, Heather! Well, I guess my old standby "eviscerate" gets pretty close.
My skills include copy-editing, layout, and typing 95 WPM. Well, no, not NOW. I'm paralyzed, jackass.
NOTE: I added some super-awesome corrections in RED!!!!):
The staff of WWHD killed, destroyed, maimed, and consumed as many animals as inhumanly possible in creating this site. Except Lola, she's my pal! BFF!!!!!
All characters and events depicted herein are absolutely true. Joe will be posting names, addresses, phone numbers, and email addresses as soon as he gets around to it. I have yet to see it happen! I will be sure to remind Joe to get that done!
WWHD is extremely dedicated to making sure site content displays properly on ALL browsers and ALL computer platforms. If you experience trouble with ANY configuration, send in-depth details to firstname.lastname@example.org. Seriously, Sutekh Heather does not, in any way, give a shit.
Duplication and reproduction of this site is expressly encouraged. But if you do disseminate any lifted content, for God's sake spruce it up a little. This has to be one of the lamest sites ever conceived, built, and deployed. That is because Sutekh built it. It will be a lot better now because I am the greatest!
By reading this End User License Agreement (EULA) you have already agreed to worship Sutekh Heather and forever wonder What He She Would Do. Oh, and don't read the next...word. Gotcha! Now you owe me twenty bucks. Be sure to disregard the upcoming number too: 25. Loser. Now you owe me THAT much.
WWHD is best viewed using 320x240 resolution, rendering all graphics as a jumble of giant letters. Hey, I see my name in there! Shut up. Your existence is a lie. You would feel much better if you were HEATHER! YAY!
The stunts depicted here are EXTREMELY dangerous and should only be attempted by very small children or clumsy mothers holding very small children. I'm with Sutekh on this one...kids are stupid!
Content herein is intended for viewing. Not. But you can still look at my beautiful face!
Some pages on this site contain EXPLICIT content of sexual, religious, historical, psychic, and geographic nature. See if you can find the capital of North Dakota! It's BISMARCK! See how awesome I am!!!!
The views expressed on this site match EXACTLY those of the WWHD staff. Where else did you think the ideas came from, fool? Now kneel. Like I said, I will come up with a new command soon. I am leaning toward "FLOSS!"
WWHD believes in the privacy of those who visit the site. To keep your private details safe, please send all pertinent names, addresses, and credit card numbers to WWHD using the e-mail link to the left. We have a really big safe where we keep all of that stuff secured from hackers. I keep candy in there too! Smarties are my favorite! YUM!
Don't forget to visit the WWHD gift shop on the way out! And check out the cool wavy thingy I did to the end-of-page logo below! I so totally ROCK!